The greatest experience, the one which shakes a soul with hopes and fears, the results of which are never ending, and incidentally, the one which pays the biggest dividends, is to be found in the adoption of children.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Getting The Best Of Me

That's exactly the way I feel about this adoption process. It's getting the best of me. Actually it's not the adoption process but the Guatemalan political machine that has hijacked the adoption process and left it dysfunctional. It is wearing me down. Much less than my best is left to deal with every day life. We didn't really find out anything from our lawyers assistant. She said that as far as they know, Nola is still in the hogar. We found out, from another source, that isn't true. I've contacted an individual at an agency who, in the time span of one day, confirmed that Nola is no longer in El Jardin. He is willing to find out where Nola has been moved and get us a copy of her latest social worker or medical report (for a fee of course); things our lawyer hasn't done or offered to do. Do you sense the disgust in my words? Hopefully soon we'll know where our sweet Nola is and possibly how much she's grown over the last almost five months since we've had any report on her.
In family news, last night was Mark's last night at work. Yes, he's getting laid off. At the meeting, they were told hopefully they would be called back "when the economy picks back up". We're not holding breath for that one. Not sure what's in store for us now. Unfortunately, there's no news of companies hiring around here. I'm hoping I can talk him into going back to school. I get some pretty funny looks when I mention it but I don't see many options for him without it so, we'll see.
If you're one of those who reads blogs with the sound turned off, then switch it on for just a moment. I've got a couple of my new favorites on. The Chris Rice one is old, but for some reason, new to me. I love Chris Rice and I don't know how I missed this one when it was new but thanks Nan for bringing it to my attention. Unfortunately, I listen to it and cry but I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. The Robby Seay Band's "A New Day" has been my theme song lately. I tell myself every morning, "This could be the day we get some news". The opening lyrics of the song:

I'm gonna sing this song,
to let you know that you're not alone,
And if you're like me,
You need hope, coffee and a melody.

Yep, he's singing to me. Now, I don't need the coffee. I'm a tea drinker myself, but I do need hope and a melody. I can't get through the day without music; definitely food for my soul.

I decided since my mind was on music, I would read in Psalms tonight. I was surprised to open to Psalms 143 and read in verse 8:

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
There's some food for my soul!


Michelle said...

I am so sorry Pam. On some level I can relate. I love that Robby Seay song. My worship pastor put some CD's together for me as we WAIT and that was one of them. May your soul be full and your hope fulfilled and may your hubby find what is in store for him soon.

Deb said...

Pam- that is unbelievable that the lawyer assistant does not know where Nola is. What the heck is the lawyer doing with the money???? I know this is hard for you to wait and this kind of news does not help. I wish I could be there to give you a hug.

I am sorry to hear about the job loss too- my prayers are with you and your family as next steps and deicsions are made.

Love and hugs,

Alicia and Jonathan said...

I continue to pray that they locate her and send you an update soon! It is heart-breaking! You, Nola and your family are in our prayers! I'm sorry about the job situation on top of the already emotional, frustrating adoption situation.

Lisa said...

The Lane family is always in our hearts and on our mind.
Lisa and Ella

My mantra for 2009:

Cheri (prounounced Cherry...really!) said...

I will tell you that my friend had to hire an attorney that is in St. Louis, Missouri, to help get their agency in gear. They had a nightmare experience with CCI but once Rudy got involved things moved. The little girl came home in December. The price was NOT astronomical. Email me if you would like his info. He owned the adoption agency Children of the World, and has helped with many problem cases. Cheri

Will and Aileen said...

We are thinking of you and praying for your family and Nola. I hope that you get answers and news very soon.

Gordon Mote - Don't Miss the Glory