The greatest experience, the one which shakes a soul with hopes and fears, the results of which are never ending, and incidentally, the one which pays the biggest dividends, is to be found in the adoption of children.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

6 Days Down, ??? To Go...........

............... A few years ago, the term "emotional eating" didn't register with me. I couldn't understand the concept of a person turning to food as comfort. What kind of comfort can food give you? Well, I'll tell ya. Over the last two years of this insane roller coaster ride of an adoption, chocolate and I have gotten to be really good buddies! Now tell me, please, how ridiculous is that?!?! I get no emotional support from chocolate. I get no friendly advice from chocolate. No. All I get are extra pounds...... lots of extra pounds.............thirty to be exact! I'm not stupid, chocolate has never helped me solved a problem. It hasn't helped me deal with all of the disappointments in our adoption. It hasn't helped me at all! But it is absolutely scrumptious.......unbelievably, indescribably good! It has unfortunately taken me much too long to get to this point, but I've decided to give up chocolate. Yes, you read that right. I'm giving up chocolate. I committed to that on January 1st and so far so good. I know, it's only been 6 days but for me that's unheard of. It's not a New Years resolution. I've never been much into resolutions. I'm giving up something that I dearly love in an effort to get my heart, mind and body back where I should be. About a year ago, I fasted from all food on Mondays. I used my Mondays to pray and meditate. I committed to food free Mondays until we got some good news on Nola's case. I don't remember how long the fasting continued but it was several months. Some Mondays were not so tough and some were very difficult but regardless of the discomfort, I had made the commitment and was sticking to it. Now, back to the chocolate. How long can a serious chocolate loving gal live without chocolate? I guess that remains to be seen. I'm committing to eating no chocolate...............until Nola comes home. In reality, I'm probably looking at, at least, a year. With our hearing still scheduled in June and facing the reality that the PGN is not in any hurry to approve the cases it has, I'll be surprised if Nola is home this time next year. Just writing and reading those words is enough to sadden me tremendously but not discourage me. I'm turning my heart and mind where it should have been all along. Each chocolate craving will remind me to seek comfort and direction in prayer. Our heavenly Father is always there for me and for all of us and wants us to bring Him every care. He will comfort me and the good news is, I won't gain an ounce from it. It is certainly going to be a challenge. I'm going to have to retrain my mind but I'm up for it. I am loved and adored by a God who created me; a God who deserves my praise and who is always with me. He expects me to come to him in all situations so He can reassure me and uplift me................that's something Chocolate can't do.

I'll keep you updated as to how I'm doing. I am, however, allowing myself one type of chocolate and that is Hot chocolate and the occasional chocolate flavored coffee drink. Hey, it's my own personal fast so I can make up the rules, right? Hot chocolate isn't something I have often. On those bitterly cold winter days (like we've been having lately) it does seem to warm me up better than hot tea so I'm not removing it from my diet. And the coffee drinks, I only have on occasion so I certainly won't be abusing the fact that those two things will remain legal consumables.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Better Late Than Never!

We finally got around to taking our family Christmas picture. You know, the one most families take well before Christmas and then make it into a Christmas card. Well, first of all, I didn't send Christmas cards this even one! And second of all, I've never been on top of my game enough to get the annual picture done early enough that it could be turned into greeting cards. The picture has always been for me. I just like to look back through the years and see how our family has changed and grown. I've decided at the point we are now, there is no need to have a Christmas tree as the background to our photo. Even though we have a nine foot tree, only the very tip top of it shows in a picture when we're all in front of it. But it's tradition. Another tradition seems to be Mark threatening to take the tree down the day after Christmas and me holding out for the time when all the kids can come over to get that all important photographic memoir. Maybe taking our family Christmas picture after Christmas is my way of keeping the tree up just a little bit longer. One year, the tree was still up on Valentines day. I just love a Christmas tree, always have and probably always will.
I was going to start taking the decorations off today but instead, I sat down to write this post. Darn, I guess the tree will have to wait until tomorrow.........or the next day;)

Gordon Mote - Don't Miss the Glory